Who is the Honolulu Guy
There are two major groupings of Honolulu Guys. The first are those who were born and raised in Honolulu and rarely leave the island. The second are those who came as adults. Often, those in the second group have a more international background. Frequently, the U.S. military or government has played a part in their history. While the owner of the HonoluluGuy.com website is a member of the second group. He is well aware, although he has led an interesting life, many in this second group have had a far more interesting and challenging live. And many, have faced far more dangerous challenges than he has. This is especially true of those who fought for our country against hostile forces.
This Honolulu Guy has spent considerable time in Europe and Asia. Now, he is living a typical retiree life in Waikiki with one caveat. He and his wife have a three year old son.
This Honolulu Guy encourages more young people to travel and do more things. The world awaits you. That said, below, in no particular order, are some of this Honolulu Guy’s experiences.
Being an old guy, 82 years old, the Honolulu Guy has a few recommendations for the young who seek to have more life experiences.
One, live a healthy life and do everything possible to live a longer life. This means a daily exercise routine, with very limited, like zero, use of cigarettes and drugs. And drink in moderation. His acquaintances who smoked cigarettes started dying off in their mid 40’s. Some, but very, very few, lasted until 70. He remembers some, in their 40’s, who he watched day by day, being eaten alive by lung cancer.
Also, if you do choose to overindulge some evening, have a worst case scenario plan that includes a designated driver or big brother, back up plan. Several of his past friends died in drunk driving accidents. One secret of having more life experiences is simply living a longer life.
Two, get more education. Graduate from college; go to grad school or find a trade or something you like to become and expert in. If you have not already found your life’s career and are totally engrossed in it. Then get more education in whatever you choose. Never stop learning new things.
Three, don’t have a Bucket List. Follow Nike’s advice – JUST DO IT . . .now, or as soon as possible.
Now is the time to fulfill your dreams. Don’t put it off. No excuses. Find a way. Even if it’s unconventional, like taking a year off from work or school. Doing this allows that experience to stay with you for a lifetime, rather than just a reward that you get like a retirement watch.
A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions. – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. Former Supreme Court Justice.
For the record. the Honolulu Guy believes you are never too old to be a Comeback Kid.
He has worked in 25 countries.
He was a Financial Aide to the Chicago Superintendent of Police in his mid 30’s. He attended and was a driver for a US Senator at the 1968 Chicago Democratic Convention.
He learned to SCUBA dive in his early 30’s. SCUBA dove to a depth of 200 feet (off the Kona Coast) in his mid 30’s.
Due to a divorce, he was awarded custody of his ecame a single father of three teens in his late 30’s.
He ran his FIRST MARATHON when he was in his 40’s. (Time 4:06. His personal best). All in all, he has completed eight marathons. One in San Antonio, Texas; one in Paris France and the rest in Honolulu.
He participated in the destruction of the Berlin Wall in his late 40’s where he liberated a guard tower ladder and the lock plate off the tank gate at the Brandenburg Gate.
He took his full time retirement in Munich, Germany, at age 51. At that time, the German Government offered him German citizenship. He declined this offer, because it would have required him to give-up his US citizenship. He did accept the German offer of Permanent residence. As a side note, he has drank beer at the World famous, Munich Oktoberfest on more than 50 occasions.
He studied in Oxford, England and received his Cambridge Teaching Certificate in his early ’50’s.
He lived in Northern Thailand for several years in his mid 50’s. During that time he some times spent weeks at a time, living in Hill Tribe villages in the Opium fields of the Golden Triangle.
He earned his MBA at Baylor University in his mid 50’s.
He accepted a Chinese government invitation to come to China with a Foreign Expert Visa his late 50’s. He stayed in China for ten years.
He rode in the Western China mountains with Kazakh horsemen, while avoiding the Chinese army, in his 60’s.
He got married a second time, to a woman 40 + years younger, in his 60’s. Fifteen years later, with a three year old son, they are still happily married.
He was a Principal actor in a Hollywood Blockbuster movie in his 70’s. Although, virtually all his scenes were cut, he has his own IMDB,com web page and continues to receive residuals from Hollywood.
He snuck into North Korea on a speedboat across the Yalu river, with an American Consular official, in his mid 70’s.
He became the father of a baby boy in his late 70’s.
Do you want to live a full life? Stay healthy. You will live longer and you can do far more things.
One caution, the Honolulu Guy offers: Go slow when you fall in love. Between marriages, he was single for around 30 years. He and his current wife were friends for a whole year before they had a first date. Now, after seventeen years of marriage, in spite of their significant age difference, they remain happy together.
Now, his experiences. Obviously, there is a story behind many of these events. He is willing to share with you more of the details when he meets you in person.
He was a single parent of three teens – one son and two daughters. Now, in his second marriage, he is an author and a stay-at-home dad for their eleven month old son.
His first marriage ended in divorce. When the dust cleared, his former wife and her new husband got the house, but the judge ruled the Honolulu Guy, even though his job required travel, got sole custody of the three children.
When he and his three kids did travel, they made it a point to stop at any state line they crossed and play frisbee. They would make it a point to throw the frisbee across the state lines. On one trip, they stopped at the Four Corners Monument in order to be able to say, “I threw a frisbee across the state of Colorado” or Arizona, or Utah or New Mexico. (He’s familiar with the surveyor inaccuracy issue at Four Corners, but, whatever, it was fun.)
Visited 49 states: every state except Alaska.
Lived in eight states: Illinois, Indiana, Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Washington, Texas, and Hawaii.
Lived in four foreign cities: Oxford, England; Munich, Germany; Chiang Mai, Thailand; and Guangzhou, China and worked in two dozen foreign countries. Lived overseas for twenty years and in Hawaii for twenty more.
Served in the US Marines and served in jobs connected with the US military for a total of 24 years. While in the Marines, he went on a tour to Panama and Guantanamo, Cuba.
Earned a Bachelor’s degree in Marketing from University of Notre Dame.
Earned a Masters degree in Business (MBA) from Baylor University.
Earned a post graduate Cambridge Certificate at Oxford, England.
Was given Permanent Residence by the German government and offered German citizenship for services performed. He accepted the former but declined the latter offer, as it would have meant relinquishing American citizenship.
Was invited to China and given a Foreign Expert visa by the Chinese government. Stayed for ten years. Lectured on marketing and business at several universities and taught employees at numerous multinational firms including Coca Cola, Siemens AG, Kodak and China Telecom.
In China, he did some contract work through the Canadian consulate. He was the signee doing the work. The other signee, was the Canadian Consul, who signed as a representative of the Queen of Great Britain and the United Kingdom.
He was able to retire at the age of 51. He encourages young people to travel and doesn’t believe in Bucket Lists. He believes if you want to do something, just do it. You will benefit from the experience and it will become part of you for the rest of your life.
Somewhat uncommon experiences
In high school, studied four years of ancient Latin (Caesar, Cicero, The Bible) and two years of ancient Greek (Plato/Socrates and Aristotle) and two years of modern French.
As a single parent, took his three preteen children on a two week camping trip in the Canadian Rocky Mountains for the adventure and to teach them how to cook over an open fire.
As a college graduation present, took his two daughters on a five country three month Southeast Asian backpacking trip (China-Thailand-Indonesia- Singapore – Malaysia).
Attended and drank beer at the Munich Oktoberfest on more than 50 occasions.
Attended twenty sessions of the Canton Fair, the grandmother of Chinese trade fairs.
Visited Wake Island – A remote Pacific island slightly larger than Waikiki.
Kissed the Blarney Stone in County Cork, Ireland.
Invited to spend two weeks in Urumqi – In northwest China. The most inland city in the world. Urumqi is the main city in the Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region in the far northwest of China. Xinjiang has serious troubles, as the Chinese government tries to squash and control the Muslim majority in the province. Although, the Honolulu Guy was an invited guest, he was physically attacked by the security guards when he chose to step outside the school where he was invited to lecture. Although I was an honored guest, the situation became quite hostile. My self and the two other lecturers ( a Brit and an Aussie) realized we were not in a safe envirorment.
Visited Dandong – Chinese city on the Yalu River bordering North Korea.
Visited the eastern end of the Great Wall of China.
Visited the Jiaohe ruins, an ancient plateau city on the silk road in Western China.
Visited the Stonehenge ruins in Southern England.
Visited the Ephesus ruins in Southwest Turkey.
Visited the Angkor Wat temple ruins in Siem Reap, Cambodia. I hired a motorbike driver to take me around for three days to see all the temples..
Visited Elvis Presley’s home in Bad Nauheim, Germany as well as his Graceland home in Memphis, TN.
Visited Lenin’s tomb in Moscow and Ho Chi Minh’s tomb in Hanoi.
Visited Hitler’s Eagle’s Nest in Obersalzberg near Berchtesgaden, Germany.
Visited the secret bomb shelter for Nazi officers beneath the Berchtesgaden Hotel.*(Now destroyed)
Visited the country music town of Luckenbach, Texas; Population, One.
Visited Dennis, Texas, as well as Dennis, Massachusetts.
Visited twice, sixty years apart, the prohibited underground tunnels at the the University of Notre Dame.
Spent two weeks teaching in a private school in Urumqi, the most inland city in the world and capital of the Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region in the far northwest of China.
Attended numerous sessions of Jesse Jackson’s Operation Breadbasket Meetings on the Southside of Chicago.
Attended every Notre Dame football home game for eight years.
Rode a camel on the Silk Road in Western China.
Rode an elephant in Northern Thailand.
Rode a horse in the hills of Baguio, Philippines.
Rode several hours on a ferry boat across Haiphong Harbor, as the only Caucasian with several hundred Vietnamese.
Rode the (Panama Limited) City of New Orleans from Chicago to New Orleans.
Walked the length of the city Macao, from China’s Zhuhai to the ocean.
Jogged thru Moscow starting at Red Square.
Jogged thru the markets of Rangoon, Burma.
Jogged along the cliffs of Southern Ireland.
Jogged thru the hills of Sicily.
Ran and completed eight full 26.2 mile marathons. One in Paris, France; one in San Antonio, Texas and a half dozen in Honolulu, Hawaii.
Drove several cross country round trip from Washington state’s Olympic Peninsula to Central Florida.
Donated his personal collection of Chinese political propaganda posters from the Mao era (1949 to 1976) to the Asian arts collection at the University of Notre Dame library. If you are on campus, check it out. This may be the largest collection in the world as the Chinese government destroyed most of them after Mao’s death. Now, their message is embarrassing, as it frequently conflicts with the propaganda message current communist history books teach.
Flew in and out of the now closed Hong Kong airport of Kai Tak numerous times. You will have to ask an old timer why this was a unique experience.
The only caucasian member of the otherwise all Negro Systems Programers Society that met at the University of Chicago.
Rode on helicopters in connection with three different occupations.
Arranged an inside tour of the Cook County Jail.
Went to the vaults of the Cook County Morgue in order to assist in the identification of the body of a killer shot down by the Chicago police.
Designed, chose the material and had made several Qipao (Cheongsam) dresses for his future wife. In China, where he met and dated his future wife, he was often invited to international get-togethers. For the more formals ones, his wife, who was a college student from the countryside, did not have the financial wherewithal to spend money on formal party dresses. The problem was solved, when he decided he would design her dresses and have the neighborhood seamstress follow his instructions and do the stitching. While in Thailand, he had designed leather purses, handbags and backpacks for himself and his family members, so why not qipao dresses in China.
Doing the Texas Two Step
Designed, arranged and organized a private Tea Tour to tea farms and laboratories in four Chinese provinces.
Chauffeured a US Senator around Chicago, for several days.
Appeared in a German television commercial and a Chinese television commercial as well.
Had a speaking role in a Chinese police training video.
Spent a night partying and drinking with a dozen Chinese Electronic Surveillance police. The police paid for his hotel room
Ran barefoot five miles on the streets of Chicago.
Lived in a mountain tribe village among the opium fields of the Golden Triangle for up to two weeks at a time. See his book, Black Lahu or his compilation book, Poetry for Men Action adventure Murder. Both available on Amazon.
Sailed on a two mast schooner from Lahaina, Maui to the island of Lanai. Swam ashore and jogged barefoot for the 5 miles into Lanai City. Then, returned and slept on the beach. Swam back to the ship in the morning. Then sailed to the island of Molokai. Swam ashore and slept on the beach. The next morning they sailed into Honolulu.
Swam ashore during a storm from an overturned sailboat in Lake Michigan.
Scuba dove to a depth of 200 feet off the Kona Coast of the Big Island of Hawaii.
He has written ten books. Most of his books are available on Amazon. Two of his most recent books were aimed at young people. One is The Puncts, a Hip Hop Guide to Punctuation. The other is based on the style of Shel Silverstein’s Where the Sidewalk Ends. His is entitled, Where the Ocean Begins, and is a collection of humorous, Hawaii related poems.
Participated in both the Marine Corps Officer Candidate School at Quantico, Virginia and the enlisted boot camp at Parris Island, South Carolina.
Invited to a small secretive meeting at a Hong Kong hotel to discuss the smuggling of and support for North Korean dissidents hiding in China and other South East Asian locales. Others present included two representatives of George W Bush White House and the Hong Kong politician and activist known as Long Hair (Leung Kwok-hung).
Invited by a Canadian military general into the Top Secret SAC NORAD SAGE Control Room that monitored our nuclear armed aircraft that flew towards Moscow daily during the Cold War.
Wrote and published a hundred page narrative poem.
Marched in St Patrick’s Day Parades in Chicago, Seattle, San Antonio and Honolulu. And celebrated one St Patrick’s Day in Hong Kong with the Far East Guinness management group.
Visited Guantanamo (Gitmo), Cuba, known as a prison for international terrorists.
Has his own IMDB webpage and RottenTomatoes.com pages. https://www.imdb.com/name/nm5047318/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0
Humorously, he considered himself to be one of the highest paid actors in Hollywood . . . if the calculation is based on screen Face Time. For the film, Battleship he was hired as a Background Extra, Old Salt # 7. Then, by good fortune was he was upgraded to cast and given a new contract as a Principal Actor. He was in several scenes and had a few short speaking lines. Then, before the film was released, virtually, by bad fortune, virtually all of his scenes were deleted. You could say he ended up on the cutting room floor, but, now with computers, someone probably just hit a delete key. Finally, his Face Time consisted of a quarter of a second of screen time. But then, good fortune returned. He started getting residual pay checks several times a year. The checks are small, $20.00 or so. However, thanks to the Fourth of July, Memorial Day, and Veteran’s Day, Battleship has strong legs and keeps being on TV reruns. So far, he has earned around $7,000 for his quarter second of Face Time. You do the math. What does $7,000 for a quarter of a second equate to, when extended to an 8 hour day? As said, he has become one of the highest paid actors in Hollywood.
In Texas, rode shotgun in the lead jeep on a rattlesnake hunt. Caught a live three foot long rattlesnake with a snake catcher tool. It looks like a golf club.
He arranged for Pricewaterhouse Coopers to hire ten accounting graduates to inspect the Chinese manufacturers making Disney products.
Temporarily Awkward situations
Note: He is not physically big or strong, but he learned from his time in the Marine Corps and with the Chicago Police, He found it best to deal with danger head on. Running away only delays the problem. Also, being adventurous, he looks at most of these from a humorous perspective rather than as dangerous situations.
In Chicago, when eight years old, he was hauled into a police station. His father had to come and take him home.
In Hanoi, Vietnam, argued with a policeman who threatened him with jail and tried to shake him down. He negotiated down to a pack of cigarettes.
In East Berlin, during Cold War, argued with an East German soldier who kept pushing a Kalashnikov rifle his face and shouting “Nein!”
In Moscow, during Cold War, argued with two Russian soldiers who were pushing their Kalashnikov rifles into his chest and shouting “Nyet!”
In a mini-riot on the Southside of Chicago, got caught in a car that was attacked and rocked by a black American mob.
In Mountain Home, Idaho at a trailer park, argued with a biker who jabbed a large Bowie-like knife into the table to prove his point.
Tore up his knee ligaments in high school football.
In the western China mountains, rode with Kazakh horsemen while evading the Chinese army.
On China/North Korea border, paid a Yalu river speedboat owner to sneak me into North Korea.
In Guangzhou, received a phone call from a friend warning of a guy with a butcher knife in a bag was in his alleyway and planned to kill him. He chose to walk around the block a few times. The guy got cold feet.
In Texas, received 11:00PM phone call from a college classmate asking him to drive 125 miles immediately, as her acquaintance who had stayed with her had shortchanged a Hong Kong triad boss and now some goons were trying to find her apartment.
In Chicago, filmed on national TV sneaking into Democratic Convention with false credentials. This caught the attention of the Superintendent of Police and his staff, who were watching the incident on TV. As he was also on the Superintendent’s staff and the false credentials had been supplied by the Catholic chaplain for the Police Department, it became a laughing point when they discussed security issues and how fool proof they could be.
In Chicago, accepted an invitation into the models dressing room to shoot pictures for the annual Ebony magazine Fashion Fair fashion show.
In Guangzhou, at 2:00 AM, was awoken by ten Chinese Police officers pounding on his door. They wanted to know, when he came, when he was leaving and what he was doing in China. It all got sorted out within a few days.
In Kunming, China, in a street fight with some guys who attacked a female street artist.
In Guangzhou, he got into a street fight with some guy who was beating up a woman. They all ended up in a police station.
In Guangzhou, he chased through the streets, a thief who had stolen from a car in front of his taxi. They all ended up in a police station.
On Pee Pee Island, Thailand, got into a fight with a group of guys who were harassing two Japanese female tourists. His knee ligaments snapped again. He went down. Then, he was held and kicked in the face. They all ended up with the police.
In Munich, for several months, sheltered in his apartment, two Chinese students who had participated in Tiananmen Square related demonstrations and now could not return to China and did not have the proper papers for staying in Germany. They finally settled in Singapore. Other Chinese friends of his, in the same group settled in Canada and Finland.
Present at the Oxford University Union when some of the Chinese student leaders of the Tiananmen Square demonstrations spoke to the Oxford students. They had escaped the Chinese police dragnet via Hong Kong.
On a bicycle, followed a Chinese military convoy of flatbed trucks carrying several hundred drug criminals to a military base on the outskirts of Kunming, China. Climbed a nearby hill and listened as a machine gun squad executed the prisoners.
In Chicago, had Muhammad Ali personally correct him.
Had a next door neighbor in Tacoma, Washington. The neighbor was arrested, convicted and sent to prison as the serial Lakewood Rapist.
The last Marine he said goodbye to was Charlie Whitman. After Charlie got discharged from service, he became infamous as the Austin, Texas Tower Sniper and murdered seventeen people. See Charles Whitman on Wikipedia. Or, read the Honolulu Guy’s book, Charlie Whitman was a friend of mine. or his collection of stories, entitled, Poetry for Men Action Adventure Murder. Both books are available on Amazon along with several other books he has written. He writes under his full name, Dennis M Keating. Poetry for Men, Action Adventure Murder is a compilation of five of his true tales. The author is featured in four of the tales. The fifth tale occurred ninety years ago, and had its roots in his Honolulu neighborhood.
During Cold War, liberated an East German Guard Tower ladder, while the guard looked on.
During Cold War, liberated the lock plate off the tank entrance of the Berlin Wall.
During Cold War, on official business, visited the Fulda Gap border fence where US soldiers faced off with Russian tanks.
In the Chicago Police Department, got his boss fired for maleficence and criminal activity.
Broke his wist in US Marine Corps training.
Broke his collar bone while hiking in the winter in the icy German Alps.
Tore up his ankle In Chiang Mai, Thailand, due to a motorbike accident. Ended up in a hospital.
Tore up his quadricep on an expedition in Yangshuo, China,
Had a half dozen tiger sharks surround and circle him while SCUBA diving in 60 foot of water off the Kona Coast.
One time happenings – the Honolulu Guy was there
Destruction of the Berlin Wall 1989/1990.
The turbulent 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago.
Hong Kong Turnover, June 30/July 01, 1997.
The 1962 Seattle World’s Fair and 1964 New York World’s Fair.
The inaugural 1998 Kunming, China Export Fair
The first few New Year’s Day Crater Celebration at Diamond Head 1970 – 1971 – 1972.
Elvis Presley’s Aloha from Hawaii concert – Jan 14 1973
Some of the Honolulu Guy’s unique and sometimes humorous jobs:
Faculty at the Chinese Academy of Science teaching PhD candidates.
Faculty at the Guangdong University Of Finance and Economics.
Faculty at European University, Munich campus
Faculty at Osher Lifelong Learning Institute, University of Hawaii
For Boeing aerospace, Buyer on the Minuteman Intercontinental Missile system.
Oversaw a $5 million a month business that spanned eight European countries and generated earning of more than a $1 million a month.
Tested shoes for a shoe manufacturer in China.
Principal Actor in a major Hollywood motion picture. He has his own IMDb webpage and Rotten Tomatoes webpage. He was paid over $7,000 for a quarter second of screen time. You can do the math to determine what this equates to in hourly wages. Move over Tom Cruise and Liam Neeson.
Designed and imported German language Chinese Fortune Cookies from Chicago to Munich, Germany.
Assisted Wally “Famous Amos” with his cookie business marketing plan.
During the Cold War, oversaw a snack bar on the German autobahn that’s upper floor was a safe house for Russian defectors.
Kept the books on the secret vice funds for the Chicago police department.
Sold chocolate covered bananas at the New Year’s Crater celebration in Diamond Head.
Unloaded sacks of flour from freight cars at a Kraft Foods warehouse.
Electroplated television parts at Motorola.
Banded spools of steel at Signode Steel Strapping.
Bottled water at Mountain Valley water company.
Had a newspaper delivery route in grade school.
All in all, the Honolulu Guy believes he has had a fairly interesting ride. He never got rich, but he has some fond memories of a few adventuresome and unique happenings; some heartaches, and for the most part fun things. Thanks to being a bit of a Renaissance man, who enjoys life and a range of activities, he admits to being open to another interesting adventure or two, However, age is catching up and his family prefers he stays out of harm’s way. In truth, he doesn’t mind if he never travels again.
His wife is good hearted and loving. She is a caring and loving mother to their son and knows her husband fairly well. Being a tad bit younger than the Honolulu Guy, she finished her formal education relatively recently. Also, she graduated among the few at the top of her class with a Masters Degree in Accounting. She obtained her Certified Public Accountant license before graduating.
The Honolulu Guy is a firm believer that everyone should write a book and everyone should run a marathon. Why? Because it is possible for everyone to do these things, yet very few do it. Write a book because you have a story or two inside of you that should be shared with others, maybe future generations. Run a marathon because you have it inside of you to do it. And once you do, no one can ever take it away.
All in all, he never got rich. He had a good life and continues to keep active.
Also, for the record, the Honolulu Guy and his wife do not own a TV set. They have no time for it. They believe living in weird, wacky, and wild, Waikiki provides them with ample entertainment, comedy, crime, romance and foreign intrigue.
If you wish to contact the Honolulu Guy, try email: lostpuka@gmail.com